Wishing for the Moon

By Cécile Rischmann


Reading by Cecile Rischmann

It was a beautiful warm April night, the peak of Chennai’s summer. The temperature soared to such levels that Tanya Lobo’s little two bed-room apartment felt like a furnace. There were no air conditioners to cool them off. Tanya couldn’t afford them.

Her frail seventy-four-year-old mother lay on a narrow steel cot in her bedroom. Seeing Tanya enter, she broke into a wide toothless smile. Tanya smiled back as she gave her mother a nourishing glass of Complan, a part of the nightly routine for the last ten years ever since her mother had been diagnosed with cancer. A recent fall had further aggravated her condition so that Tanya had to employ a maid to take care of her mother during the day while she was away at work.

The sudden shrill of the doorbell startled them as they never had any visitors.  Alone in the world after Tanya’s dad had been brutally killed in an accident many years ago, they were used to living on their own. Kodambakkam, well known for its Kollywood studios, maddening traffic, air, noise and land pollution, bustled with activity. She had managed to find this tiny apartment in one of the many apartment blocks in this Residential Tower on the main road.

The caller was arrogant enough to buzz again. It could be the beautiful neighbour, Reshmi, who partied hard and would sometimes misplace her key. Tanya would allow her to spend the night, and they’d discuss all censored topics where Reshmi would tell her about her numerous boyfriends.

‘Go see who that is, child, before they wake up the neighbours. Must be Reshmi, she has no other work—always talking about boys!’

Tanya couldn’t help smiling. Her mother wasn’t too keen on Reshmi. Neither was Reshmi keen on her mother. She called her the old Kelt.

‘Like as if you can’t get anyone,’ her mother was saying with much more confidence than Tanya had. ‘But where you’re making any effort? Work – home – mummy. That’s all you think about.’

‘I’m not interested, mom.’ Tanya played with a silvery mop of hair that crowned her mother’s head. Despite her age, her mother was blessed with thick hair that Tanya would often tie into pigtails.

‘What? Not interested? You’re thirty, child?’ Tanya sifted through her medication. ‘I’m telling you, Tanya girl, you’re going to miss the boat.’

‘I already have, mom.’ She placed the required pills on a little saucer on the side table.

‘It’s because of me no, you’re not getting married? I know Mark proposed. He wanted you to put me in the home. Why didn’t you agree, Tanya girl? How long can you take care of me?’  

Tanya patted her hand as she went to answer the door. She’d gotten rid of Mark so fast that he hadn’t known what hit him. Her lips tightened.

She peeped through the keyhole. A very tall and menacing man stood outside. Should she call Reshmi? The bell pealed again. The cheek of him, what impatience! She wrenched open the door and—blinked.

Green eyes gleamed at her, frightening in their intensity. A very noble face stared down its nose at her—and what a nose that was! Slashed straight between sculpted cheekbones, the square-shaped jaw was clean-shaven with a deep cleft on the chin, and some spicy aftershave was sprinkled on it.

Tanya knew she was staring… gawking. The man was leaning against the sidewall, one muscled arm stretched towards the doorbell as if he was on the point of shrilling her eardrums again. The white cotton shirt expanded over the broad shoulders, and the trousers were tailored to his narrow hips and long legs.  She flushed very deeply by the time she reached those hand-made leather shoes that looked like its price could pay her rent for the next two years.

His thick brows arched in a way that told her that he was used to the female gender coming onto him. And if she were truthful, she’d admit that he was a feast for the eyes. Days were so bad that she might even pounce on him, drag him into her house and eat him up.

She gave a long sigh. She must get rid of this vision before her mother discovers him. Nightingale, as she was affectionately called, had been a singer in her early days, gracing five-star hotels and concert halls. Tanya knew which song it would be: ‘Fascinating Green Eyes.’

‘My due apologies, M’am, I’m looking for Reshmi.’

An unfamiliar longing licked Tanya insides, spreading heat all over her starved body. She found herself wanting, craving, desiring that this man notice her, acknowledge that she was attractive.

Pathetic!

‘We were supposed to be dining out tonight. She stood me up!’

Welcome aboard!

‘Did she tell you anything?’ he barked as she went into another trance.

He might be the best-looking man she’d seen, but his arrogance left little to be desired. ‘The name is Tanya. And yes, Reshmi did mention you chase after her like a dog in heat.’

What?

You spend thousands of dollars on gifts she doesn’t need.’ And I do.  ‘Should I go on?’

Ric fumed. Dog in heat? Who the hell was this—this—he swallowed a laugh—brave soul who dared to call him a dog? Chasing after Reshmi of all people? If it weren’t for his aggravating mother, Ric wouldn’t be here on a Friday night when he could have been in the club with his batch mates.

It was years since he caught up with his friends, years since he left Chennai to pursue his MBA in the USA and further expand the family’s fortune. Coelho Estates was thriving, having invested heavily during the subprime crises and was now benefitting from Ric’s quick action.

So okay, she shouldn’t have gone overboard. The man appeared upset and somewhat angry. But Tanya was angry too. Her beautiful neighbour had wealthy parents to take care of her—no sleepless nights worrying about unpaid bills. And now, she’d found this gorgeous hunk to continue the pampering.

Some girls had all the luck.

But that was no reason for her to be mean. ‘Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I’m just knocked out—tired,’ she added quickly before the man thought she was drunk. ‘Maybe you should cool down a bit. Reshmi loves to chase—not be chased. Now, if you’ll excuse me—?’ she lifted her hand and covered her mouth as it began to open like rhinoceros. ‘Good night.’

Ric towed the door before she slammed it in his face, intrigued by the woman’s prickly exterior. He knew he should leave right then, get his butt into that monstrous devil of a sports car that he’d parked downstairs, attracting dangerous attention to his presence when his fiancée wasn’t in.

‘Do I look like I have the time or the inclination to chase after women? I run an empire.’

Who cares? She just wanted to sleep for goodness sake with him. The thought seeped into Tanya’s mind like an arrow of lust, quickening the pace of her breathing, pumping her heart with such hot desire that—

‘Would you mind if I waited for Resh at your place?’

She swallowed, ran her tongue over her parched lips and then almost bit it when the man leaned forward, enveloping her with his potent aftershave. ‘I promise to be good.’

‘It’s late.’ Tanya stepped back. ‘As you can see, I’m about to go to bed.’

The man ran a very slow and deliberate scan on Tanya, taking in her unflattering pyjamas and tunic that did nothing for her frame of slender limbs, a small waist and a large bottom. Talk about disproportion.  Save her hair, Tanya felt the rest of her body was a sad disappointment.

‘Ric Coelho,’ he said and took Tanya’s hand in his. ‘CEO of Coelho Estates, I live in the USA, and I’m down on vacation. May I come in?’

Chaos was Ric’s first thought as he stepped into that tiny mosaic-floor hall.

A soggy towel was drying on the backrest of a wooden chair. Clothes lay heaped on the canapé, and the girl scooped them in her arms and darted to her bedroom and dumped them on the bed. Footwear lay all around the place except on the shoe rack. There was an odd under the Sacred Heart picture too. 

His mother should see this. She was so organized to the extent of arranging Ric’s underwear according to colour. He wondered what she’d make of this mess.

Ric dropped his bulk onto the red canapé, noting how poorly furnished the little apartment was, not that he was a snob. But he couldn’t help noticing that the creamy walls were chipped and unpainted, the ceiling fan roared like it hadn’t been maintained for a while. His lips were itching to smile.

Well! Go ahead, mock, Tanya thought in despair. What would you know, anyway? Born with the golden spoon in your mouth. Your father probably bought that Empire for you.

Ric shrugged out of his blazer before he died of suffocation, unbuttoned his shirt with deft fingers and looked at Tanya. ‘Sorry, I hate imposing on you. I just need to speak to Reshmi before leaving tonight. Do you mind?’

Tanya’s throat dried up, seeing all that tanned skin with black, curly hair spread evenly over it. His male scent was reaching out to her amidst that erotic aftershave, and Tanya was tempted to lean into him and—oh my God! What was happening to her?

‘I work early tomorrow,’ she snapped, her hands clinging to the front of her tunic as if by holding on to it she wouldn’t be tempted to unbutton it too.

She didn’t realize however what a provocative picture she made to Ric, giving him a perfect outline of her tiny mounds with its aroused nipples.

‘Doing what?’

‘I’m an Executive Secretary in a French Waste Management Company.’

‘It wouldn’t go out of business in Chennai for sure. Speak any languages?’

The language of love. ‘French,’ she mumbled.

Should she wheel in her mother? She could feel the tension mount between Ric and her. Her underarms were beginning to dampen, and the place between her legs was flooding with unusual heat. Ric wasn’t helping matters, leaning forward as he did with those strong arms resting on his thighs, the tightness of his pelvis telling its own story. His gaze bumped into Tanya’s as he tunneled a hand into his dark hair, tumbling an unruly lock over his forehead.

‘Which part of India are you from? The purr was getting slightly hoarse, intimate. The lashes swept down to shield that powerful gaze.

‘Goa, although I stayed in Chennai all my life.’

‘I’m from Mangalore.’ His lips split into a full smile. ‘My family stays in Chennai, though. So we speak the same language, huh?’

‘Actually, no.’ Tanya wrung her hands together. ‘Dad used to speak Konkani when he was alive.’

‘I’m sorry.  Must have been tough on you.’

‘I overcame.’

‘Err—are you on your own?’

‘No.’

‘Married?’

Was there disappointment in that tone? ‘No.’

No as in, you don’t want to be married?’

Tanya lifted her chin and was about to put Ric firmly in his place when a high-pitched voice shrilled from the bedroom. ‘Tanya! Give my dinner, child.’

Ric jerked in surprise, green eyes alert as he looked warily towards the bedroom. ‘Your mom?’

‘If you’ll excuse me?’

‘Would she mind me being here so late?’

‘She won’t know.  I mean, she can’t walk.’ Now, why had she told him that? It was as if she was issuing him an invitation to seduce her.

‘You must be one hell of a woman to have survived.’

Her throat ached as she fought down the impulse to cry, to burrow into his chest, and take refuge in his arms.  It was a long time since someone took an interest in her. He sounded as if he cared.

Ric had to say that he liked everything about Reshmi’s neighbour The way she stood, hopping from one foot to the other like a disobedient child in front of a teacher, the way she clutched at her pyjamas like they were about to slide down her hips, the way her small tongue came out to lick her lips and then darted inside as he caught it with his gaze.

Yes, he was beginning to like Tanya little too much for comfort. 

Did Reshmi know Tanya? Why hadn’t she mentioned her? He did ask if she had any friends and she’d denied it. But would Reshmi consider Tanya a friend? He wasn’t blind to the fact that Reshmi was uncomfortable with the less fortunate.

‘Don’t pity me. I’m single by choice, haven’t found a groom who’ll accept mom and me as a package. I’ve no intention of abandoning her.’

He understood Tanya’s vehemence. The poor girl had probably been rejected on those grounds. No dowry, daughter of a paralyzed widow, probably without an income, and the additional burden of taking on Tanya’s mother along with the bride.

Why—even Ric’s parents would think he was crazy if he asked for Tanya’s hand.

The problem was that Ric didn’t want to marry Reshmi. But try telling that to his parents. As much as he loved them, he disliked their interference. However, he was afraid to hurt their feelings. He was their only son, and he wanted to keep them happy. And then, there was Reshmi’s dad who’d invested quite a bit in the business. Ric had wanted to pay him off last year, and that was when his parents and Uncle Chandran pressured him to offer for Reshmi.

*

Tanya looked at her mother with a resigned sigh. The twinkle in her eyes said that she was aware that there was a man in the house. Before the interrogation could start, she said, ‘Reshmi’s boyfriend is here.’

Her mother’s face fell. She felt sorry to steal that spark of hope, but if she didn’t nip it right away, her mother was capable of embarrassing her. Tanya wished too that Ric could have been her boyfriend. She could see herself cuddled beside him on that canapé with her head resting on his shoulder and his arm around her—

‘So why is he in our house then?’ She asked disgruntled, and then as it had just struck her, her near-sightless eyes widened. ‘Don’t tell me that girl is loafing with another man?’

Tanya felt close to laughter, but she dare not laugh. Her mother was very entertaining. However, right then, she was more worried about Ric hearing them. He wouldn’t like that they were gossiping about his girlfriend.

A shaft of jealously pierced Tanya.  How fortunate Reshmi was—

‘Don’t just stand there, young man, give my daughter a hand!’ The sudden demanding tone of her mother caught Tanya by surprise. She almost fainted as Ric prowled to her side, all bronze and muscle, oozing sex appeal as he directed a cute smile at her mother and bent obligingly to swing her up in his strong arms and stride to the blue wheelchair. ‘Are you okay, M’am?’ he deposited her gently.

Her mother’s mouth had popped open, and she gave Ric that mischievous grin. ‘Call me Mrs Lobo. My daughter says your Reshmi’s young man?’

Tanya groaned and looked everywhere else except at Ric. How could her mother do this to her?  She was going to throttle her as soon as Ric left. But for now, she contented herself by shooting daggers at her…

‘Do you mind if I wait for Reshmi, here?’ Ric sidestepped the question.

‘Why, son?  Is that girl out gallivanting—?’

‘Mom!’ Tanya looked at her aghast. Her mother didn’t seem one bit contrite. Tanya glanced at Ric, ready to touch his feet if she could undo the damage, but the apology died on her lips.

The low rumbling sound caught Tanya by surprise, so did the way Ric tilted that beautiful head back and laughed heartily.

‘I’m afraid so, Mrs Lobo. I’ll give her another half an hour and leave.’

Tanya must have sighed aloud for his gaze riveted on hers. He seemed to be asking her for something. She wished she knew what it was because her heart was behaving very erratically, and her body was even worse. She wished she’d worn a—

‘Go make him some dinner, child! The poor boy must be starving.’ She turned to Ric with a smile. ‘You like Pork Vind’alho, son?’

Ric’s lips twitched again. ‘That’s rather kind of you, Mrs Lobo.’

‘Mom!’ Tanya rolled her eyes at her. ‘I’m sure Ric must have dined already. Now, do you want something to eat or not?’

Ric smiled at her. ‘Actually, I’m quite hungry,’ his eyes held Tanya’s. ‘Can you make me chapatti?’

The cheek of him! Tanya was tired as hell, waiting to hit the bed with a nice romantic Mills & Boon and this arrogant brute was asking her to roll chapattis this part of the night?

Tanya’s glance must have told Ric what she thought for his lips broke into a wide smile. ‘No?’ He asked, feigning disappointment, and what more, had her mother feeling sorry for him.

Before the old lady began to plead Ric’s cause, Tanya said quickly. ‘No. I’m fagged out.’

‘So what are you offering?’ He asked in such sensual tones as those green eyes held hers spellbound that Tanya turned and fled.

The kitchen was compact, like the rest of the apartment. Tanya stood there amidst the heat and aroma of pork vind’alho, her strange mood unimproved. She longed for this to be real: Ric returning home every night, Tanya and he sitting at the dining table feeding each other. She could imagine him shirtless, holding her on his lap as he tucked a tendril of her hair behind her ear. And then, he would kiss her and carry her to their bedroom where they would lie in each other’s arms making slow, passionate love.

Tanya knew it was a foolish dream and stirred that pork in the casserole somewhat vehemently. She must get herself a boyfriend. Reshmi would never forgive her if she stole her guy. Not that Reshmi generally worried about competition. None of her sophisticated boyfriends had given Tanya a thought.

Except for Ric.

Those fascinating green eyes…those tender and serene eyes those captivating green eyes… so loving and so true…

Tanya’s vision blurred as she heard the familiar tune penetrate the walls and carry the melodious voice to her.  Her slim frame shook as she held on to the cemented counter, tears streaming down her cheeks. The doctors hadn’t sounded optimistic about her mother’s condition. They told her quite frankly that age was against her mother, and she was deteriorating. It was a matter of time, and she must accept it.

‘Do you need any help, Tan?’

Tanya stiffened as she felt Ric hovering behind her. She turned and fixed her moist eyes on him. She hated that look of pity on his face. She was strong. She had survived. She will survive.  ‘Lay the table,’ she said, handing him a knife and fork.

He left them on the counter, his hands coming up to stroke her long and slightly damp hair. She startled and stepped back, but the counter was behind her.

He moved closer, and their bodies touched, he trembled. His lower region reacted like a live-wire and pressed into her warm body. Her arms crawled around his waist, and their hearts thumped loudly.  

‘I’m going to kiss you, Tan. Is that okay?’ He bent his head nipped at her earlobe.

She nodded and closed her eyes, lifting her head to his, surrendering.

He brushed her lips with his, sipping and savouring. She sighed. He went again sweetly and tenderly, enjoying how her lips clung to his.

‘Please…’ she whispered.

He opened his mouth wide on hers, giving her what she wanted, what he wanted from the time he’d set eyes on her. He lifted her off the floor, his arms wrapped around her as he devoured her, thrusting into the warm cavern, his tongue duelling fiercely with her—

‘Tanya, I’m hungry, child!’

Tanya moved so fast that she almost toppled the casserole and got scalded in the process. He shifted her away from the stove, his breathing rapid, his heart thundering as his glazed eyes caught hers. ‘Should I say I’m sorry?’

‘Not if you don’t mean it.’ Her cheeks were stained.

‘I wanted to kiss you from the time you opened that door. So I’m not sorry, Tan.’

*

Ric couldn’t say he was not warned about Goan cuisine. He wiped his eyes with a tissue as they began to water on the first mouth of Tanya’s famed pork vind’alho. He ignored the chuckles emanating from mother and daughter as he made a dash for the water jar, pouring himself a glassful and gulping it.

‘I’m afraid my palate has become bland with all the coconut curries at home,’ Ric said and forked some steamed rice into his mouth, hoping it would pacify the heat.

Tanya was slicing the pork into tiny pieces to feed her mother. His attention was drawn to the way she waited patiently until her mother chewed every morsel, and considering the old lady had one tooth, that took a while. But Tanya didn’t seem to mind.

His heart tugged as he watched her wipe her mouth with a napkin, give her some water and rub her back like how one would do with a child.

‘What’s your name, son?’

Ric dragged his eyes from the lovely picture they made and focused on her mother. ‘Ric Coelho…’

‘Are you Brigitte’s son?’

He tried to relax under that motherly glance but found to his utmost consternation that he was clenching his hands on his thighs. There was no reason why Tanya’s mother should meet his, except if they went to the same church.

He didn’t care so much for himself. It was more for them because he knew his parents wouldn’t hesitate to put Tanya and her mother in their place.

‘Yes,’ he croaked, and then risked another bite. He blinked and forgot everything else as he choked, coughed and sneezed.

Tanya found her lips lifting at the corners. He looked adorable as he wrapped his tongue with a tissue. She wished they were alone. She’d have sent her honey-soaked tongue into his mouth and given him something to suck on.

‘I won’t be able to do justice to this…delicious meal.’ Ric stood up, towering over them as he moved with ease to the washbasin near the window. He looked at Tanya over his shoulders, ‘Could you give me something sweet to help me, Tan?’

‘Sugar?’

‘Chocolate?’

‘Give him that Fruits and Nuts chocolate you bought from Nilgris,’ her mother said in firm tones. Tanya shot her a telling glance—for all the notice she took.

‘Tan?’ Her heart skipped as those spiky-lashed eyes pleaded. ‘I swear I’ll replace it with imported chocolates…’

‘No need to go all foreign on me. I like this brand.’ She went to the fridge and drew out the bar and gave it to him very reluctantly.

‘Pity!’ He tore the wrapper off and took a bite and closed his eyes as if he was celebrating an orgasm. ‘Thought I’d give you something…classier.’

 ‘I prefer simple things in life.’

‘Ouch! Are you insulting me, Tan?’

She didn’t reply.  She couldn’t. Her mother was glowering at her, indignant on Ric’s behalf. She liked him, Tanya thought. And why shouldn’t she? It was the first time someone gave her mother attention, apart from Tanya. Mark had never included her mother in any of the dinners they had in this very same house.

‘Do you stay in India, son?’

‘No, Mrs Lobo, I stay in L.A, and look after the family business.’

‘Are you married, son?’

‘Not yet, Mrs Lobo.’

‘Why? Is something medically wrong with you, son?’

He choked with delight. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d enjoyed himself to this degree. ‘I’m only twenty-six, Mrs Lobo, not in any hurry to tie the knot.’

Twenty-six? Tanya gulped in dismay. She couldn’t look at Ric. She assumed that since he was a CEO, he’d at least be around thirty. Oh, my God! What would he make of her? A cradle-snatcher?

‘Although my parents are!’ he continued in weary tones. ‘They’ve chosen Reshmi.’

Tanya went deathly pale. Her hands curled into fists at her side. Her body shook in rage. Reshmi was his fiancée? And yet he’d kissed Tanya?

‘I think you should leave now….’ she said. For once, her mother didn’t contradict her. She sat hunched on her chair as if all her energy had been sapped. Tanya felt sorry for her.

Ric brushed a warm kiss on her mother’s cheek and stood up. ‘Goodnight Mrs Lobo, thank you for dinner.’

Guilt squeezed at Ric’s heart as Tanya wheeled her mother into her room. He wished he hadn’t left it until the end to announce that he was engaged. It was just that he was having such a lovely time that he hadn’t even thought of it.   

He picked his blazer and dragged himself to the door, hoping that Tanya would at least say good night.

‘Goodbye, Ric.’ She reached his side as soft-footed as a gazelle. There was a slight wobble in her tone that told Ric that she had shed tears. 

‘Will you forgive me, Tan?  He cupped her face in his hands and raised it to his, watching and waiting.

‘It’s not your fault.’

‘But had you known, you’d have not kissed me?’

‘You made me feel special, Ric.’

‘You are, Tan…very special.’

‘So why are you Reshmi’s fiancée then?’

‘Not through choice.’ He brushed his knuckles down her cheek, wanting to kiss her so badly that he ached. ‘I’ll call you.’

‘Don’t. Please leave us alone.’

 ‘I need to see you, Tan. Please?

She pushed at his chest as his mouth swooped down on hers, fierce, hungry and possessive. She tried to fight the lethargy overcoming her limbs, but her body wanted him, and her arms encircled around his waist as they kissed one last time.

Goodbye, Ric.’ She wrenched her mouth from under his, ignoring her throbbing heart that refused to accept that Ric belonged to someone else.

She watched tearfully as Ric walked out of that door, out of her life…forever. There was no use any way of clinging to a dream, she told herself.

It was like wishing for the moon.


Cécile Rischmann is a writer and a linguist with two novels and six short stories to her credit. Her writing has won acclaim in a nationwide romance writing competition, later edited by best-selling author Anuja Chauhan and published in an anthology, An Atlas of Love (Rupa Publications). She has been published in various Indian periodicals including by Kitaab. She is presently working on her next novel and a collection of short stories. More of her work can be found here.   


Banner image is by James Wheeler and downloaded from unsplash.com